Scene, sitting at a coffee shop with a hot Pumpkin Spice Latter (yes I am basic like that), wanting to write so much and share with the world what my thoughts and shenanigans are, yet also going back and forth with “who really cares?” Well I do and need somewhere to put all this and why not the web since that’s where everything goes now days, although I have also started writing in a journal again!! The deepest stuff that can only be shared with a piece of paper and hope no one reads! Cheesy right!?
I am still riding a roller coaster full of emotions! Some that I can do without, some I haven’t really had to deal with before, some that have lasted longer then they should, ones I think I have gotten rid of but come back in full force. Before you start thinking crazy, I am fine and it not as bad as that can be interpreted to sound. Going back and forth with everyday life questions as in what to do, where to go, if you are where you are supposed to be, and reasons why you meet certain people, reasons why things come up in life, and when do I want another cup of coffee?
Holding back things that you want to share with people but pause, not wanting to ruin something already good just to stay in their lives because you care about them that much. Your heart and head arguing, giving yourself excuses or justifying the curve balls that are sent to you, asking why you are not good enough for certain things or people. Spending hours on Pinterest looking up quotes to make sure your not the only one going through whatever it is (may or may not be guilty)! All while having faith for a magical prayer to be answered or wishing on a shooting star.
All of that stuff can be pretty consuming, it can make you forget the smallest simplest things in life that can bring you joy. Being blessed to be part of people’s lives in a good way, hoping somehow you will make a difference small or big in their life. If you are lucky enough to be remembered, the only thing they will feel is warmth in their heart when you briefly cross their mind. I have done a few things lately that have reminded me of the small joys and tiny details that are often forgotten and how much they can bring joy to my heart and soul.